half a world away from the ones that i adore

Christmas is in 4 days....This excitement comes with the harsh reality that i'm halfway around the world as the ones i love the most are going about the holiday as they normally would, only i'm not there...Up until now, i hadn't experienced culture shock like i have in the past week....it's a feeling that i don't like, it's one i learned about, and thought i would be ready and prepared for, but well....that would be a negative. Granted, my trust and hope is in he who is higher, that doesn't mean this is any easier. He knows how much it hurts to be away from my family, to be away from my best friend and love, Aaron. And yet he's got my hand the whole time...I find myself at random times of day, without notice wiping my cheeks of the tears that find their way traveling down my face...I'm not exposing my heart on this blog to get pity or sympathy from anyone, i just want to share my heart. I want to be real with you about what's goin on in my mind and heart...He's moving and in such a big way he's molding me. Is it comfortable? ummm that would be a big NO, but is it worth it? oh yes! it's more than worth it, it's something i wouldn't trade for anything in this world...the pain is real, not a dream, the distance can almost be tangibly felt, yet i don't feel alone...rightly so, because i'm by no means alone. I'm not only surrounded by some of the most incredible friends a girl could ask for, one of them being my beautiful and one of a kind roomie. What would i do without her? well i would get by, but she adds so much sunshine to my life, and there are no words to ever express to her just how much she means to me. We are on this journey here, together...Aside from the people that are in my life at this place and time, i am surrounded by heavenly hosts ministering to this weary child. Besides missing home, life in china is going amazing! There are days like yesterday when i just want to order what i want and go in peace, but can't, or i want to pull my hair out because of the mass amount of people, but i can't...somedays i want to scream, but i can't....heh but i have those days in America, so all is well. :) This past weekend was pretty fantastic! Sav and i went to the supermarket to attempt to find the things to make chili....needless to say we didn't have chili....we got everything we needed except the meat...i'm seriously going to have to take pictures of the grocery store here...you would never belive me if i just told you...in the back there is the meat section...raw meats,fish,anything you can imagine, just out in he open, or hanging... one, we can't speak enough chinese to tell them what we want, and two we can't read enough chinese to know what we are getting...so we didn't risk it. we just ate pb and j's :) They usually have pre-packaged groud beef, but they didn't have it that day, so we just decided to do it another night. Saturday was my friend Ryan's birthday. He is an american i met here...So a bunch of us went out for his birthday...We had about 4 countries represented :) LOVE it. we had a couple of our chinese friends and then a couple of friends from Kahasistan, and then us americans, then we had ryan's roomie thomas, and he's from France. We had such an amazing time. We laughed so hard, the whole night. Sunday we had a christmas party with some friends, that was great! played games, sang songs, ate food....fun times. Once again it's a busy week...but it's so wonderful :) :) :) Well i think this post has pretty much got it's length, so i will end for now...i'm sure i'll have things that just can't be contained inside later, and i will most graciously share my thoughts with you. Until then, know that i'm wishing you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and oh, i enabled my comments on here, please be wise. that's all i'm going to say about that. thanks. much love.